Where do I even begin? On April 24, 2014 I was 4 days overdue. We spent the entire day dealing with false labor, double checking that we had everything ready for the hospital, and last minute errands. Later that night I began having contractions again. I figured it was false labor again. They were about 10 minutes apart, then 8, then 7…. My husband had to work the next day so I went downstairs, made me some corned beef, carrots and cabbage, sat on the floor (because I couldn’t have my water break on my couches hahah) and watched ‘Lie to Me’ on Netflix. I did my best to breathe through the contractions then I realized they were getting closer and closer together until they were 5 minutes apart for over an hour. But wait! Of course something had to go wrong- I hear our daughter crying on her baby monitor. I go and check on her between contractions and she threw up all over her crib. So I put my pain aside. Woke up my husband, got her cleaned up and back into bed. I called Labor and Delivery and told them about my contractions. They wanted me to come in. So I woke everyone up and we loaded up the car and got ready to go!
First stop. We drop off Makanalei with my cousin Dionna. I’m in the car having contractions and my husband is asking me questions. DO NOT ASK ME QUESTIONS DURING CONTRACTIONS! hahahah. Then Makanalei throws up again all over daddy. As we drove to the hospital I was getting aggravated at his driving. I knew it wasn’t his fault- he was just trying to get me there fast but I was thinking, “go slow, didn’t you see that bump?, what are you doing?” He was going to drop me off at the entrance and have someone push me in a wheelchair to labor and delivery. I argued, “NO WAY!” i’ll walk- I figured walking would help me dilate anyway right? Plus I couldn’t show up in a wheelchair and find out i’m 3 cm dilated and acting like a baby through early labor contractions. hahahah! As we are walking in my husband thinks it’s a brilliant idea to video tape me walking in looking like a hot mess and making fun of me. Not smart. I wanted to throw something at him. So I just kept it classy and gave him the finger.
We reach labor and delivery. Woo hoo! Sign paperwork and patiently wait to be seen. When they called us back so many emotions ran through my head. Am I dilated? Is this false labor? Are they going to send me home? Are they going to induce me? What if they make me have a C-Section right now? They hooked me up to the fetal monitor and we just wait to see how baby is doing. They checked my cervix and I was 3 cm dilated and 50% effaced. We patiently waited for them to let us know if we were going to be admitted or just send us home. When the doctor arrived we got the news that we’re going to be admitted!! YAY!!! We were one step closer to meeting our beautiful baby!!
At this point I am naked under the hospital gown and walking down the hallway to our delivery room. We get there and I feel a sense of release. The moment we’ve been waiting for has come! Soon she will be in our arms! We finally get the ball rolling and i’m doing my best to breathe through contractions. It’s time to get my cervix checked after 3 hours and theres no change. Not something I wanted to hear. My doctor and 2 midwives came in to talk to me about my options. They tell me the risks of having a vaginal birth after a cesarean. I already knew the risks but something in me said, “you can do it, trust me!” So I tell them, “What can I do to help me dilate? Walk? Nipple Stimulation? Bouncing on a birth ball?” So we decide to break my water, deal with contractions and go from there.
I’ve never had to have my water broken. One midwife was performing the procedure while the other was pushing down on my belly. We were trying to ensure that her head was closer to my cervix to eliminate the risk factor of the cord coming out first. They placed a fetal monitoring cord on her scalp to better monitor her heart rate. MISSION SUCCESSFUL! Yay! My contractions from that point on become a little more intense. I bounce on my birth ball, rock back and forth, walk around in the little area I had, swayed back and forth, and bent over. After hours of painful contractions I ask my husband to tell the nurse I want an epidural. My midwife came back and told me that once I get the epidural my contractions could spread out and we don’t want that. It’ll prolong dilation. She tells me about another pain medication I can receive via IV. I decide to go with that. Although i’m in pain, my main goal is to have VBAC no matter how painful. My nurse comes in and gives me the drug. HOOOLLYYYYY MOOOLLLYYY! As soon as that bad boy hit my body I became loopy. Everything was moving slow, I didn’t feel any contractions. At this point my relaxation station on Pandora was playing. I begin talking to my husband (who is video taping and making fun of me!) At some point I was in dragon land. This is probably because I was watching Dragon Tales with our daughter the week before. I secretly LOVE that show. Anywho, it was quite funny! Then a volunteer comes in to pray with us, give us a rosary etc. I am still ‘out of it.’ He asks what brings us in and I tell him, “To have a baby from my VAAAGGGGIIINNNAAA!” I swiftly apologize for saying “Vagina” like that- I had no idea why I was being so weird. He said a prayer for us! Here is that prayer
“To Pray is to breathe:
Do it deeply
And you will be filled with life.
My God, I breathe out my fears
And breathe in your Strength.
I breathe out my confusion
And breathe in your Peace.
I breathe out my resentments
And breathe in your Love.
I Praise You with every breathe I take!”
It is such an amazing and powerful prayer. Definitely a prayer I needed to hear while dealing with contractions. He gave me a rosary and although I was still drugged, I held onto it and said a prayer to myself. I said, “God, I put my life into your hands. Please guide me through this labor and delivery. Please keep both baby and I healthy. If a vaginal delivery isn’t best for me please show me the way to not be stubborn and just accept it. Please keep my mind and body strong Lord! I ask you to be with me every step I take- like you’ve been my entire life! Watch over these doctors so they don’t mess up (I giggled) Watch over my husband and friends who are here to support me through this birth. Watch over our daughters who are at home in Washington and here in Virginia. Bless our family as they anxiously wait for her arrival. Be with every single one of us Lord. Also, please make this not be painful- Thanks XOXO Love Anela AMEN!” I’m not sure he heard the last part about being painful because after that….I began feeling contractions again.
I endure the pain for as long as I can. At this point I am becoming exhausted. Again, I ask my husband to get the doctor because I want an epidural…NOW! 10+ contractions go by and I am becoming hostile, “WHERE THE FUCK ARE THEY?” They finally arrive and i’m ready- I know the drill. Sit up. edge of the bed, stay still, cat back and breathe! However, this time was different than the last- Last time my contractions were further apart. This time…they are less than 2 minutes apart and painful. I was scared that I couldn’t handle the pain and i’d jerk and become paralyzed or mess up my spine or something! I did my best to stay as still as possible. The doctor who administered my epidural was pregnant as well. She looked amazing and guess what? She was due the next day!
Epidural is in! Pain is gone! Woo hoo! I begin to take a nap. Patiently waiting for good news to arrive! I am suddenly awaken by a pressure pain in my vagina. Ohh noo!! Why do I feel this? Don’t I have an epidural? I tell my husband and friend/photographer/doula I feel pain in my vagina! She tells me it’s probably babys head pushing down. I’m relieved but STILL- I dislike this pain! It begins to get worse and worse and closer and closer and I can’t sleep or relax. It feels as if I have no epidural in. They do a final cervix check and i’m 10 CM!!!! The moment we’ve all be waiting for!!! I begin to cry. I’m so happy. I’ve come all this way, endured this pain. I felt like I came in 1st place in a marathon!!! I was ready!
The doctors begin chattering and saying, “baby is large, she may not be able to push her out. Let’s have her in the OR (Operating Room) and try her vaginal delivery there- if not then we can do an emergency c-section immediately and won’t have to change rooms” Inside I knew that is not what I wanted! But, i’m exhausted and want to meet our daughter. I prayed once again. My friend Michelle tells me what they are trying to do and it brought me to reality. Apparently our daughters heart rate dropped…ONCE to the ninetys…. I asked her if baby is ok and she said, “Yes! Her heartrate is in the 120’s+. I knew what I had to do- SPEAK UP! This is my pregnancy, my wishes, my birth. Of course I want the best for my daughter but I know my body. Once again I wanted them to trust me. I told the doctor my wishes. I told her, “I’d rather try a vaginal birth in this room. The lights are dim, i’m already here, it’s relaxed and I can concentrate better than being in a room with bright lights, cold tables and I want my support team with me. Please trust me and my body and lets see how baby does.” They agree.
Everything began moving fast! Tons of people in the room wearing scrubs running around. We do a test push and sheesh that was hard! They finish up and we’re ready to push! However, baby didn’t like the position of me being on my back- so they had me go on all fours! I wasn’t quite fond of this position because everything was exposed! I heard the doctor say, “Baby likes this position!” The only thing I could think of was, “hahahha! So does her daddy!” Apparently I said this out loud. I only got a few chuckles… Tough crowd. I begin pushing. 3 times for 10 seconds. Then they tell me let’s try 4 times for 10 seconds. After a few of those I was like, “can we go back to the 3 times?” hahhaha! After a little over an hour of pushing they have me turn over on my back and push that way. 2 pushes and SHE WAS OUT!!! SHE WAS FINALLY HERE!!! They placed her on me and my heart became overwhelmed with happiness! I was holding our baby! She’s so beautiful! She looks exactly like her sister! I didn’t want to let her go. They ask me if they can finish up with her. I agreed. Then I was wondering, why isn’t she crying? Then she let out a little cry. Other than that she was chill. A quiet baby like her older sister Makanalei. Her beautiful eyes were wide open and she’s so alert! She begins sticking out her tongue! I start to laugh because that’s all Makanalei did after she was born. Stick out her tongue.
I wanted to share my story with everyone. Why? because it was such an accomplishment for me. I had a c-section. Nothing is wrong with a c-section at all! Just personally for me- I’ve always wanted a natural delivery. Recovery time from a c-section was horrible. I had a bad experience. My scar is huge. Plus I would have a difficult time taking care of two babies while trying to heal. I have friends who had c-sections and want to try for a VBAC! I know they can do it! It’s possible! Trust yourself and your body. Trust God and just believe.
We named our daughter Hilina’i. Literally Hilina’i translates as to believe, trust; to lean on, rely on, confidence. What better name for her than that! We believed in God to guide us through our every step. We trusted in him and trusted my gut, my body. I leaned on my husband and friends for support. My daughter relied on me to make the best decision for her and myself to ensure we all are healthy! Lastly I had confidence that I CAN DO IT! It’s possible and If you are trying for a VBAC. Do not give up!
View a slideshow of our birth here: http://vimeo.com/93060314
Special thanks to Michelle Collins with Graciously Given Photography for capturing this special moment for us!
XOXO,
Anela
Anela Lee Photography 